


Freshwater Pearls

by skyshores



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-25
Updated: 2011-09-25
Packaged: 2017-10-24 02:32:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/257928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyshores/pseuds/skyshores
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being with Tsunade is to become the thread which ties the pearls together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Freshwater Pearls

Dan and the sharp smell of sake hang in the air. Though the alcohol hushes ( _heightens_ ) the intensity of the moment, Dan's name is taboo and unuttered. Yet, he remains inerasable; Dan's presence is still so heavy here Jiraiya can feel him on his back as he presses down on Tsunade, who he thinks is almost too perfect for him to have. There is not a single crease on her body to show that she has lived as long as she has. Her stomach is tight, her eyes bright, and her breasts—full in Jiraiya's big, calloused hands—are still soft to the touch.

Jiraiya is not like her. His midriff is hoary, wide and scarred, his face having fallen victim to time and ripened skin. He has grown old, and he doesn't fit into her as well as he could have some decades ago. He can only hope that Tsunade doesn't mind how mismatched they seem to be as his tongue slips down her throat, their legs interlock, and her flesh presses up warm against his.

But there is no promised happy ending for them because this is not one of Jiraiya's novels. It _never_ has been and _never_ will be. While Tsunade is a strong and beautiful kunoichi whose story will live on forever, Jiraiya knows he won't be the one to tell it.

Tomorrow he will leave to find Pain and he won't come back in one piece. Maybe he won't come back at all.

After he is gone, Tsunade will probably cry quietly into her fists. It will be a rainy day and she will face the wall. Better yet she will be all alone, outside of her office in a big open plain and do it there, where no one will ever see or hear her grief. And then she will drink so much that there is only a ghost of his memory left and his legacy of novels in the adult shop to remind her of him.

He glances at her now, and she appears to have drunken more than her usual fill, already. She is giddy; her face flushed a bright and vernal pink. But Jiraiya knows her everything isn't as real as it feels. Not that he wouldn't still love her like this if she actually looked her age. He would prefer that she appear older, in actuality, because he wants to be as compatible as he can for her. He doesn't want her to be the mirage of a naive, thirty year old woman. Tsunade is so much more than that—strong, wise and so, so jaded inside, but it rubs off on her eyes and makes them seem chatoyant, indestructible, impenetrable, _beautiful_.

She reminds him of pearls: the texture of her skin, the rounded brush of her laughter and the milky curve of the kindness she sometimes shows him. Like a mollusc found in a freshwater spring she has an inner lustre that belongs only to her, only to him. And if there is one thing Jiraiya knows about pearls, they become more beautiful with wear. Tsunade is just the same, he knows, and all Jiraiya has ever wanted is to be the thread stringing her together.

It's selfish to do such a thing, but after Jiraiya pulls out of her—her legs and clothes spread far apart—and waits for her to readjust her robes, he sneaks one of his novels on her bedside so that she has something to remember him by. It is his latest novel, still unpublished as of yet, and this is the only time in his life he has ever gotten to stay with a naked Tsunade without worrying about broken ribs or arms or organs. So it seems like it's the best time.

And when she is ready to go, Jiraiya puts his hands on her shoulders, takes her on their final march to the gates of Konoha and wonders if he has ever meant more to her than Dan ever did. When they decide to lounge near a panoramic bench, Jiraiya comes to the conclusion that he doesn't.

Dan's ghost has drunk rivers worth of her sorrow and her tears for Jiraiya will struggle to fill a cup.

But before he can see for himself, before he can watch Tsunade break, watch the thread snap and pearls slipping down her cheeks, Jiraiya leaves, he runs, because it is the only thing he can think to do when the entirety of Konoha is at stake. He supposes that Tsunade will never break and has never needed him to support her—but it doesn't stop him from wishing and hoping that he will be back to tell her himself on a beautiful day such as this.

Jiraiya can almost see it now. They will drink sake, Jiraiya will boast big and Tsunade will give him feedback for his newest novel. They will avoid talking too much about the past like they always have—Dan, Orochimaru and the rest of them, and they will take a stroll down their beloved Konoha, past the billowing trees, angry shopkeepers, bloodless young shinobi and down the rivers in which the pearls sleep.


End file.
